Sometimes i wish i could meld into time and space and just sink into the shadows so i wasnt noticable to people. To go on in life just observing like a watcher and taking notes. Other times i want to feel loved so much that it feels like life itself could end at any moment because i am so happy. But more often then not im awake all night and sleep all day like a retail vampire in a retail store in which i amble around in like a zombie just putting out stock. I met a girl there and shes very inspiring she has alot of nice pieces of art and its cozy feeling. I feel like ive known her my whole life yet only known her 2 weeks or so. She has had it bad from men and is in denial of love and i want to prove to her that not all guys are nasty like that.
She has red hair shes so pretty and her scent is intoxicating around her i feel drunk or high cause im clumsy and dopey and it feels like im in a room full of smoke and haze that i dont know how to manuever in.
And talking i'll bring up names or something and she will be like how did you know that name and i have no idea i just think of that name we have the favorite tree (oak) and favorite houseplant (jade) favorite color is green both like art both want the same log house.
I just dont understand i spent 3 and half years with Allyson an ex gf and thought at one point she was my soul mate and now i meet this girl and i dont know how to live anymore or breathe or eat or sleep. Life is confusing, even more so i used to work in a store with a girl who had her fiancee or ex fiancee living with her and she said that she knew he was cheating on her this happened couple years ago...well come to find out that the redhead i feel gaga googoo over is the girl this ex fiancee was with...what kinda fate is that to be able to tell this girl the otherside of the story or closure that she needed on this guy to hopefully get over him and move on...Another thing that i find messed up is that the redhead made a poem to go with her photo she took i read it yesterday and instantly my heart went out to her i felt sad for her but also in the poem there was a mentioning of a local restaurant named Rye's well i never met this girl before working at this store not that im aware of so she meets me and has this poem 2 year old poem i think 2 years old with my nickname Rye on it.
Life throws some pretty crazy curve balls.
So ill post on here again to tell if anything comes of this.